Confusion Triggers

I have a boyfriend at this moment, and we are more than 6 months already. Earlier days, I am very confident that he is not like some other guys who are born cheaters. I trust him a lot !! I love him and will love him forever.

but things are just not right between us these days. friends are his obsession! they are 1st. I cried and cried alot. it still hurts. i want to be his perfect girlfriend but i am failing.

last night, i was losing my mind. literally going insane. i was insulted and critisized in public. i cant move on... i want to break up but i cant. i am tied! The thought that I’ll be moving with my life without his care, and my heart torn into pieces. its bleeding...

i am weak.. i really am. i am hopeless and helpless...

it still hurts and hurting pain is wat kills me... i am going mentally ill and i hv no peace. i hv no one to turn to. i am alone..

time will heal..

For now, I am praying that God will give me enough strength and ease the pain.

Life sucks !

Life sucks.

Everything is so fucked up.

NO ONE understands.

NO ONE cares.

Parents are the most annoying creatures on earth!

and i hv a bf who shouts at me 24/7

NO one understands me but me!

ppl these days just dont seem to care.

selfish bastards!

i just hate life!

Fuck life!

i wanna live in a world of my own.

a world where dreams come alive

i wanna marry a frog

and live happily.

IPHONE !!

i am an iphone freak. so crazy over an iphone now! Damn myself! i am havin sleepless nights just thinking about an iphone. how i wish so hard i can own one on my own. Iphones are fine golds made in heaven. i am deeply in love with it.

i am in need of a iphone and i wil do whatever it takes to be an owner of one! like ive said a million times dreams should become reality. !!lol...

7th July 2010

you hv the power to hurt me.

you hv the power to kill me on the inside.

you hv the power to rip my heart into two and watch it bleed...

you hv the power to hold my heart in ur hands and stab it til it dies...

no matter hw intensely loved me, i just knew u were gonna hurt me real bad someday..

and...

2day is the day...

congrats, u succeded....

Many a time love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a teardrop.

but as for me....

our love faded to a point where he didnt want me anymore....

he decided to leave me ....

The pain i feel inside of me now is so intense..

i dont blame you for the pain...

its not ur fault sweetheart....

yes im hurt and im crying...

and there's a question to be answered..'why?'

you dont see my pain, dont you?

you dont feel my pain, dont you?

u just wanted to leave me 2nite...

wat abt the promises u made to me?

all the hopes u gv?

i often wonder wat went thru ur mind wen u was abt to do such a thing..

u were just so selfish..

u just wanted to end ur pain...

did u think abt ur family, ur loved ones?

did u even think of me and hw wud my life be without you? did you?

ans me b, u just dont love me anymore, dont you?

i am sitting here and crying...

asking myself this question..'why did u do it 2nite'

why b why?? it hurts b... im so hurt..

inside is bleeding....why wont u come comfort me??

i am living thru this hurt every single day of my life.

i need you b to ease this pain..its too intense...

the wound u caused tonight is too deep....

why did u behave so good to me when at the end of the day, u were gonna be rude?

why did u promise me ur life when u were gonna take it away from me 2nite?

why do u act so smart wen all in fact u were a retard.

why cant u see the pieces of my heart tat u hv shattered it on the ground?

why cant u feel my pain?

tears fell like raindrops 2day and hurt is all over my veins.

why did u wanted to leave me tonight?

i hv no hope but only tears tat drop...

i think of every lie tat u hv said...

u said u wanted to spend ur whole life with me.

u said u wanted to hv a family wit me..

u said u wanted to make cute cute babies wit me...

but the truth is, u didnt want...

u just wanted to see me bleed...

i gv u my heart, i gv u my soul..

i gv u every emotion of mine tat i cant control..

i am so caught up in all ur lies....

u wanted to leave me 2nite, tats the truth.

the damage u hv caused me, was fun for u..

the hurt u caused me, was hapiness and pleassure for u...

the only truth u ever told, i was something to let go.

you stole my heart...

please return in back...

those love words u told me, seems like it has lost its meaning.

you dont und wat it is like to be me.

all u cared for is for ur hapiness to grow...

i hv scars of u in my heart.

i hv no strength to carry on... i am like a wounded soldier...

i am in need of help.

how could u say u love me

but all u wanted to do is leave me 2nite

how cud u say u care

if ur nt gonna stay wit me til the end?

i wish it always rain

so u could nt see the hurt, pain and tears u gv me tonight

i cant find someone else like you.

all i want is you.

all i need is you...

love hurts...