Heart Broken by a Heartless Soul

I thought you were the one that would make my life complete.. Well, I thought wrong. You only brought me misery. And you proved me that your just exactly like those 3 jerks i dated in the past. !! I loved you alot and all you did was hurt me.. I dont know what went wrong but you really left me with an aching heart. No one can love you like i did because you are as soulless as ever...remember the times when i said i loved you, you said fuck off.. Now i see clearly, love is only a fucked up feeling. Its an emotion for the poor, the weak, and the uneducated !! I cried a million times for you. But now i realise i have wasted tears on something that is not worth crying over. No matter how hard i fought this battle, this battle was to lose. You are born without a heart. Love is only a game to you. Well, now it is to me..!! I wasnt stupid in love, I was in love with a monster that didnt treat me right !! I dont deserve this and thats why it had to come to an end. The hurt is just too much .
I just cant write anymore. I hate you for playing games with my heart. Trust me, karma wil hit u back one day. My mind keeps replaying how you played me like a stupid clown. I should have seen the emptiness in your eyes. But like an idiot, i kept believing your stupid lies. You have scared me for life. For the next man, i wouldnt be able to open my heart to. All the times and memories we have spent together , you even said we'd be forever. It was all lies !! I hope you are happy for what you did to me.. You used to be my greatest treasure but now ur just one of the broken piece of glass , not worth of love anymore !!

Fuck Love !!

And if 2moro never comes...

we all remember this lyric part of a song...and if 2moro never comes, will he know how much i loved him..did i try in every way to show him every day..

alright, cut the crap !!!

2moro morning i will be flying back to indon... i dont wanna go back !!! ouch it hurts!! i hate this feeling...
mummy was feeding me just now.. and she asked me, whos gonna feed you 2moro, i just said no one..and tears started rolling down my cheecks...she kinda saw my tears and immediately changed the topic...

i feel like im losing my mind... i use to have someone whom i can turn to when i feel down...but that person is no longer there... so when i feel like crying, i just cry... my examz are around the corner...i gotta prepare for it..

this heartbreak kills..but i hv to deal with it.. if you dont wanna be apart of my world, then leave !
my emotions are all just catching up wit me.. i wonder when it will all come to an end.





p/s : this thought frequently crosses my mind :(

A note from Mummy

GOOD MORNING TO THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRL IN THE UNIVERSE.....JESSICA SHARMILA .
YOU ARE STRONG,INTELLIGENT, POWERFUL, YOU HAVE US  AND YOU THEREFORE MUST BE HAPPY
LIVE A GOOD LIFE
LIVE A HAPPY LIFE,
COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS, ONE BY ONE
LET NO ONE TAKE YOUR HAPPINESS FROM YOU.......YOU DESERVE TO BE CHEERFUL AT ALL TIMES, SIMPLY BECAUSE YOU HAVE GOD IN YOU AND YOU ARE NOT LONELY!!!!!!
JUST REMEMBER......YOUR FAMILY IS ALWAYS BESIDE YOU AND YOU JUST DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH WE LOVE YOU.....SO GAL....HAVE A BLESSED DAY.
START YOUR DAY WITH A SMILE    AND.......
END YOUR DAY WITH A BLESSING........LET'S HAVE A GOOD START THIS DAY!!!!!
REMEMBER YOUR SUNDAY SCHOOL SONG MUMMY TAUGHT YOU:-
THIS IS THE DAY, THIS IS THE DAY, THAT THE GOD HAS MADE
THAT THE LORD HAS MADE,   LET US REJOICE, LET US REJOICE  AND BE GLAD IN IT, AND BE GLAD IN IT.
FOR THIS IS THE DAY THAT THE LORD HAS  MADE, LET US REJOICE AND BE GLAD IN IT.
THIS IS THE DAY, THIS IS THE DAY THAT THE LORD HAS MADE.
(angel) GOD BLESS YOU



p/s : this is a note written to me by my mummy.. mummy, i love you so much... my world feels so empty mummy... mummy, this is my lowest and weakest point in my life.. mummy i go to bed crying and i wake up screaming in pain... mummy, i only have you... dont leave me mummy...