Time After Time

Lying in my bed i hear the clock tick..and think of you..
caught up in circles... confusion..is nothing new..
flashback...warm nights..almost left behind..
suitcases of memories. time after..
sometimes you picture me..im walking too far ahead..
you're calling to me..i cant hear what you've said..
then you say ..go slow..
i fall behind..the second hand unwinds..
if you're lost , you can look - you'll find me..
time after time..
if you fall i will catch you..
I'LL BE WAITING....

It’s Over Now

You know i did this for a reason. You very well know im not stupid or blind. You know i realize what you're up to. When i say that now is the time. Cause this time i finally got it. Cause this time i opened my eyes and saw you were not worth anything. Cause this time i got into my shoes and you're not my guy, not even my type. So you can go home and pout all you want. I dont give a damn about you anymore. You can cry or try persuading me . But you know Im already gone, already moved on. Your words are full of lies and your crocodile tears will not shake me.

Come Back :(

Dear Adrian,
I miss you so much. Life is no longer the same. Where are you ??  I'm no longer the happy person you used to see before. I dont even know what happiness means. Im so troubled lately, and i have no one.. I still remember the times when i was so depressed, all i had to do is buzz you with a message and the next minute, I would hear your bike hons in front of my house. We would go far away for STMJ and just talk it through. Adrian, i broke up with him. I'm so heartbroken. I still remember the times you said we make a happy couple. Now that you have left, everythings changed. Adrian, today i found out he is in love with another girl. The girl is not me. Why did he have to go and hurt me so bad.. Im so devastated. I feel like my heart has been stabbed several times. You said things would be alright !! Did you mean alright when you were still here and messed up when you're no longer around. Adrian, why did you leave all of us.. ? :( :( :( Come back please, come back !! Today i flung my anat GI. I was hopeless in the exam hall. Instead of focusing, i was crying :( 

I miss smiling and laughing , like this.. Life is no longer the same now... If only my tears can build a pathway straight to heaven, i would go and bring you back right now.You left a deep scar in all of our hearts. You were my best friend, my best brother and my best motivator..  Im losing hope and theres no one turn to ,Adrian..Come back , please.. :( :( :( I can no longer stand the life here on earth.. Come and take me with you. Theres no other place i would rather be right now except where you are..

If These Walls Could Talk

That rose is crying, The gardener cuts it instead of buying. And no one is gonna mend that broken rose. What i am to say.. My wings are unfolded yet never allowed to fly. Another day just like yesterday and the day before. Screams are more like a song of deafness to me now..
The way today went was devastating. It was the mind over matter. I was trapped in my mind. A place cannot be reached. You made me feel right when i felt so small. But today everything went away.
If these walls could talk, you would know by now my body is dead. my mind has been taken over and thats why i am so scared. i cannot control how i feel and anger is making me blind. i've been left here on my own chained to the hate of some kind. I am alone, so very alone. i am hurt so very bad. i am ignored, just thrown aside. i am lonely theres no one close, no one sees the pain. i cry for hope is gone. And no one knws.

Life Changing List

Reasons why I SHOULD accept him	Reasons why I SHOULD NOT accept him
Ø  He makes me feel complete	Ø  My family are now against this relationship
Ø  He doesn’t make me feel lonely	Ø  He is extremely hot tempered
Ø  I can talk to him almost about anything and everything	Ø  His priority are friends and football
Ø  Im able to go on getaway holidays	Ø  He hurt me so badly in the past, my life was almost over
Ø  He makes me happy at times	Ø  He humiliated me and my family in public
Ø  He can be fun and caring	Ø  He criticized my friends on facebook and ruined my friendship
Ø  He ‘was’ sincere ( now cheating with esha  )	Ø  He cheated on me with esha . captioned it ‘baby esha’
Ø  Sporting	Ø  He is judgemental and full of assumptions
Ø  Lovable	Ø  Over- controlling
	Ø  Unfair / unreasonable
	Ø  Not romantic
	Ø  He has the power of breaking my heart !!
	Ø  He proved me love was a fucked up feeling
	Ø  He showed me love doesn’t really exist
	Ø  Too sensitive
	Ø  Selfish

Purest of Pain

My all time fav emo song since i was 13. It was my the time experiencing a real love heart break and even now at the age of 22, i still feel the same.

Im sorry i didnt mean to call you but i couldnt fight it
i guess i was weak and couldnt even hide it
so i surrender just to hear your voice..
I know how many times i said im gonna live without you
maybe someone else is standing there beside you
but theres something baby that you need to knw..
and deep inside me i feel like im dying
i have to see you, its all that im asking..

give me back my fantasies
the courage that i need to live
the air tat i breathe
carino mio, my world becomes so empty
my days are cold and lonely
each night i taste
the purest of pain

i wish i cud tell u im feeling better every day
tat it didnt hurt wen u walk away
but to tell u the truth i cant find my way
but deep inside i feel like im dying
i have to see you its all that im asking

SMILE

Smile for you know you're beautiful.. therefore as long as i live, i will smile always.. And no one can ever take away my smile.. :)

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The Pink Me

This is what i do when i get bored...In addition when insomnia strikes !!