Falling For Someone Who Doesnt Love You

Today it occured to me that there might be people in this world who have never known unrequited love, have never fallen for someone who didnt fall too.
I know its rarer than a solar eclipse, but it seems likely that some have managed it, who married their high school sweetheart, who got it right on the first try and many more.
I, however fell for someone who had no idea of my existence. I fell for someone who didnt know love. That was my lifes absolute mistake. I cant rewind.
This has got to be more then a crush, more then just a fleeting attraction. Thinking they look cute and attractive, or letting your imagination momentarily wander when they touch your skin isnt enough. I loved him with every fiber of my being.
The agony , the obsession, is way too consuming. Nothing hurts quite as exquisitely as loving someone who doesnt love you back. Perhaps you think im crazy for suggesting anyone let themselves fall into this pit of despair, that im an emotional sadist of the worst variety. But dear readers, i assure you im not.
It could be the third nght you cry yourself to sleep, the fifth time they cancel plans with you, or the eigth night in a row you spend getting drunk alone. To me, it had been months but the ache is still there.
Getting over unrequited love feels like having a blindfold removed. you will be humbled, you will be grateful, you will be wiser. Thats what ive learnt.

Think again.

Dear stupid guys , Here's something for your stupid brains to ponder upon..

You blame her for being jealous of all the other girls you talk to.. you tell her they are all just frens but yet she still worries and shes afraid to lose you.. Do you ever wonder why... Because dont forget , you and her started off as friends too but just look at where you guys are now.., together as boyfriend and girlfriend... You guys became more then friends after being just friends so in her mind, its possible for that other friend of yours to come along and you might start like that friend the same way you started liking you're girl now..

Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you was beyond my control.

Today something inspired me to look at life and love differently..Its been a wile since my last post. Writing has become my way to express my inner emotions sometimes i cant express out freely..Today i realized true love will never return you void.
Throughout my entire freaking life, i have put other peoples concern and opinion above mine.. And in the process I lost myself..I lost the love of my life..
True Love is like a ghost, everybody talks about it but only a few has seen it, I had been in a relationship with this guy for 3 years. However, my relationship had its turn and it ended.. Every now and then my heart wonders back in time thinking out us, the feelings that never ended although the rship did..
It seems like only yesterday, you were making promises to me that i was the one, can you even remember the girl you fell in love with in 2010..
Sometimes it catches me by surprise hw my heart aches recalling the past.. But it doesnt mean i wouldnt wanna do it all over again...
 My patience has no end when it comes to loving you..If two people were ever meant to be, its me and you.

Is it You

Im looking for a lover not a friend..
Somebody who can be there when i need someone to talk to
Im looking for someone who wont pretend..
Somebody not afraid to say the way they feel about you..
And im looking for someone who understands how i feel
someone who can keep me real and who knows always
I like it to have you in my way
And im looking for someone who takes me there
wants to share, shows he cares...
Im looking for someone to share my pain
someone whom i can run to, who would stay with me when it rains
someone whom i can cry with through the night
someone whom i can trust..
Is it You...

My story

Hi , my name is Jessica and my story is abt my broken heart. Its the story of me and the guy i dated for 3 years. I loved him for so long , opened my heart and welcomed him into my life, he was also the first guy i brought home to meet my parents.
Those were the times he looked me in the eye and said he loved me, he would never give up on us. Today i realized it was all a lie. I was strong for so long, I never cried but today he is there thinking about another girl and there was no more us. It hurts so deep, it cuts like a knife.

The Perfect Boyfriend

He calls her every single day and calls her back even when she hangs up
He hugs her when she is down and tells her everything is going to be alright
He tells her she is the most importand thing in his life and means every word of it
he wipes her tears away and makes her feel complete and secure
he lets all his frens knw that she is the most beautiful girl in his life
he doesnt mind giving up his favorite tv show or miss his best friends party just to spend time with her
he holds her hands and walks with her in the rain
he tells her every moment that he loves her and never gets bored of telling it over and over again
he kisses her when she is angry and immediately the problems go away
he looks her in the eye and tell her how much she means to him
he pledges to marry her and her alone
he is willing to do anything just to catch a glimpse of her when she is far away
he waits all night with her when she is studying for an important exam the next day
he encourages her not to give up when all else seems frail
he understands how she feels when shes not saying a word
he vows never ever to let her go
he never hurts her, he never makes her cry , he never betrays her
he is the perfect boyfriend

Too bad for us girls, he doesnt exist..

Love and Friendships

When you stop believing in love because of a broken heart, its often hard to start over without having remnants from the past. However, when you meet someone that pulls at your heart strings and knows you better then yourself, you start to question where were you and where you are heading...
 
After being hurt for a a very long time, I just didnt know how to love again... I didnt want to love again.. He was my friend and we were friends for a long time.. And now im falling for him.. Im writing this because he showed me happiness and laughter in the phase of misery..

Honestly, i had shut the door to my heart, I didnt wanna let anyone in anymore.. I had trusted and loved only to be hurt. I locked the door to my heart and tossed the key hard and as far as i could..

Then he came into my life and changed my mind.. He showed me what was possible when it seemed so hard at first.. He was always there when i needed comfort..He knew my pain..He saw right through my heart that i was broken...He patiently listened to me and sometimes i would just vent my anger on him..

When he confessed exactly how he felt about me... i realised that some people just love you for who you are.. Ever since then, i have been holding my heart not to break in his presence. I couldnt afford to lose this friendship.. But lately, i caught myself swimming in his eyes , so lost in his presence...I was already replacing friendship with love...

I cannot be myself around him anymore.. I cannot love completely with this broken heart... Im so lost and i dont knw what to do.. I just cant stop thinking about you..


Sincerely,
Jessica

We built it up, to watch it fall..

I cant hate you anymore - Nick Lachey

This song is dedicated to that one person whos no longer in my life..

You fucked up my life. Made it impossible to trust anybody. You were my entire life. I hate you and love you at the same time. This is the end of us. Im just sick of being led around in circles. You ruined us and im done fighting. I gave and gave the best of me but couldnt give you what u need. I never knew that until now..Therefore im letting go of everything we were but it doesnt mean it doesnt hurt.. 

I just cant hate you anymore,

Jessica